Dear MythBusters
by sherlockian4evr
Summary: When thwarted in his investigations (for safety reasons) by John, Mycroft and Greg, Sherlock turns to the MythBusters for help.
1. Exploding Cement Truck

Dear MythBusters,

First, I must clarify that I used the term 'dear' only because John assures me it is customary, not out of any true sentiment.

Second, 'Myth Busters' is an inaccurate name as many myths have been judged either 'confirmed' or 'plausible', rather than 'busted'. A more accurate name would be 'Myth Investigators'.

Now to my point. I am investigating the disappearance of both a cement truck and a construction worker. I have developed a working theory, however my boyfriend, my brother and his husband have joined in an unholy alliance which seems to have no purpose but to prevent my acquisition of high power explosives.

Ridiculous.

My working hypothesis is that the construction worker attempted to remove dried cement from the interior of the missing truck using the aforementioned explosives. The worker undoubtedly used far more than was strictly necessary, causing an explosion of such force that no remains could be located, either mechanical or biological.

If you should choose to investigate this 'myth', your show will provide invaluable information. Should you fail to do so, it shall remain an exercise in pointless sensationalism and promptly deleted from my Mind Palace.

Sincerely,

Sherlock Holmes

P.S. I used the term 'sincerely' only because John assures me that it, too, is customary.


	2. No Pain, No Gain

Dear MythBusters,

Regarding the episode where you tested the pain tolerance of red heads, a.k.a. gingers, I find your methodology appalling. Okay, fine. You're methodology wasn't completely reprehensible, however, your chosen technique for inducing pain was lacking. Yes, I recognize that ice water can get uncomfortable after prolonged exposure, excruciating even, but the results of electric shock are much more interesting to observe.

I implemented my own version of your trial. Sadly, I only had three subjects on which to experiment. The optimal placement of electrified objects was challenging, however the reactions that I achieved were quite spectacular.

It should be noted that an individual with PTSD might not be the best choice of subject. I found this out first hand when John started shouting and lunged at me. If you should find yourself in a similar position, I highly recommend finding something else to do at another location for at least three days. I myself passed my short exile studying bodies at the morgue.

Wait. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to involve the British Government in my experiments either. He didn't say anything, but every cab I taken has been plagued by red traffic lights for weeks.

Now that I think of it, administering electric shock to a DI isn't the best idea either. Greg got quite cross and had Donovan throw me in a cell. She was entirely too pleased with the entire incident. Fortunately, I deduced her latest sexual escapades with Anderson. That wiped the smug look off of her face.

All of that aside, I must say that your results were, reluctantly, confirmed as my prat of a brother responded much less vocally (and violently) than either John or Greg. However, I have planned another round of experimentation (involving induced stomach cramps) which I hope will yield more satisfactory results.

Sincerely,

Sherlock Holmes


	3. Lava Lamp Explosion

Dear Mythbusters,

I have historically avoided popular culture. Most 'trends' and 'fads', as John calls them, tend to come and go far too fast for me to be bothered by them. Why should it matter if everyone is caught up in collecting and feeding pet rocks? Yes, John assures me that was genuinely a thing.

Unfortunately, I may be forced to reevaluate my stance on popular culture.

Whilst visiting with my brother's goldfish, I observed a rather hypnotic device. Said goldfish informed me that it is called a lava lamp. It is a lamp, but rest assured that there is no actual lava involved. Pity.

I digress.

I suspect that a cold case I am researching involves such a device. It is my belief that the deceased microwaved one of these lamps, causing an explosion. The resulting shrapnel pierced her carotid artery and she bled out. Not a murder at all. Dull.

This would be a ridiculously simple theory to test; however, I am once again being thwarted by John and other parties. The microwave has been removed from our flat and Mrs. Hudson refuses to allow me to use hers. Kindly investigate as soon as possible.

Regards,

Sherlock Holmes


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